https://www.infirmiere-canadienne.com/blogs/ic-contenu/2025/12/08/vivre-avec-une-maladie-chronique-infirmiere
‘Easier said than done, but it’s okay to take the time away from work to heal’
By Valerie Power
December 8, 2025
istockphoto.com/fotostorm
What does self-care look like? It looks like whatever works for you.
There are a lot of people who do not understand what it means to live with a chronic illness, but there are also a lot of others who do.
I had to call in sick again today. I did the same yesterday and will probably do the same tomorrow, and possibly the next day. Not because I want to, and not because I am “sick sick,” but because I have trigeminal neuralgia. It’s an extremely painful nerve condition that affects the face, specifically the trigeminal nerve; in my case, it affects the right side of my face. Because of this condition, I can’t talk or brush my teeth, wash my face, eat, or wear the mask that is still mandatory years after COVID-19.
My chronic medical condition is much like many others. While mine is trigeminal neuralgia, yours might be diabetes, depression, MS, or any other of the myriad illnesses out there.
Regardless, making that sick call may make you feel a little more than guilty. I know it does for me because I am not really “sick” in the sense of having flu-like symptoms or a fever with bouts of emesis and running to the bathroom every few minutes.
That kind of sickness is something people understand. Very few understand what it is like to battle an invisible illness that will never go away. Even the people we work with, who deal with sick people every day, get frustrated when sick calls come in and they learn they are left short. (Be honest, we all have felt that frustration at one time or another.)
The one positive thing about my condition is that it allows me more time to think and less time to talk. I think about my co-workers that I left short that day. I think about how much sick time remains to me, and of course I think about my illness and the scary thoughts that come with it.
I don’t feel the need to place them here. We know what they are. But on the upside, I do get to think. And after nearly 15 intermittent years of me and my trigeminal neuralgia, thinking has helped me to realize some important points:
- I am not on an “island,” as I once thought. In fact, Statistics Canada reported that approximately 45% of Canadians lived with a chronic illness in 2021. This means there is a higher number of fellow nurses around me and you that are also battling chronic illness. Someone, even multiple someones, around you knows what you are going through. Take a sigh of relief. Even in your workplace, you are not alone.
- It is not selfish to take care of myself. Let me say that again; it is not selfish to take care of myself. (See what I did there? A little self-affirmation.) I know this is easier said than done, but it’s okay to take the time away from work to heal so that you can come back stronger and more focused than you were when you left.
- What does self-care look like? It looks like whatever works for you. My self-care involves sleeping, reading, writing, and focused breathing. That’s it. I keep it simple. The idea behind self-care is to get yourself back in remission. I say remission because we never truly heal, right?
- I am not my job title. That is a hard one, to dissociate yourself from being a “nurse.” It is a title we tend to take seriously. Personally, I find myself thinking, “I can power through this. I can finish this shift.” But can I really power through it? Absolutely not! I’m in so much pain that I am often practically in tears before my shift ends. I have learned to look at it this way: When I retire and leave the facility where I work, that’s it. I will also likely be retiring because “it was time,” as I have heard so many nurses say before. I’m not going to be waking up every morning to go off and be a nurse. I will be waking up every morning to live the next chapter of my life. It is okay to call in sick, take that mental health day, or skip that overtime shift, because you are more than your job title. You are also a person with a chronic illness who has a future waiting for you.
- I may not be alone, but it is also no one else’s business. Harsh, but true. You only get to share your illness with your manager and with the people you trust. You don’t owe anyone else an explanation. If you don’t already know it, you are a strong and resilient person, so put on some Teflon and let whatever is said or felt by others slide right off. You have permission right here. That being said, it is important to show some empathy and understanding toward your co-worker who has also missed a few shifts lately. When I start hearing the chatter around the nursing station, I usually step in with the truth. A simple statement such as, “We don’t know what is going on with person X or what is happening at home, so let’s just hope that it’s nothing serious” is usually enough to make the point.
There are people who will never understand what it means to live with a chronic illness, but there are a lot of other people that do.
If I may share one more tip with you, it would be to join a support group. There are so many online groups out there, and you will be surprised how many people are willing to encourage and support you. As I said, you are not alone, and it only takes a few clicks to find them.
I know making that call is still not easy. But I hope that when you get off the phone with staffing, you feel a little relieved rather than guilty, and let yourself sleep in a little because that is self-care.
Valerie Power, LPN, is from Newfoundland and Labrador and has experience in mental health, addictions, and emergency department settings. She currently practises in long-term care.
#opinions
#intra-professional-collaboration
#nurses-health-and-well-being
#professionalism